Advice from the Trickster King
by SweetShireen
Summary: Who says the Trickster King isn't smart? He's a genius! And he's willing to help you all out to prove it…
1. Perfect

**A/N~** Before you start this, I highly recommend you read my other story **Cold Feet** first. Or at least the **4****th**** chapter, **because it's kind of like an introduction or prequel to this story.

And no, you did not read wrong. This _is_ advice from the _Trickster King_! Enjoy!

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Once upon a time...long, long ago...way before losers like Justin Beiber and One Direction ruled the earth, there was a fairy.

A totally awesome and spectacular one at that.

But no one ever appreciated him for the amazing person he was.

And he remains that way to this very day….

Okay. I think that was dramatic enough.

Was it? It better have been! I am so not writing that all over again. Writing. Ugh. Why am I even bothering to do this in the first place?

Oh, yeah.

Because people seem to think I am a stupid, ungrateful jerk that can't count to three!

People. Just. Like. You.

And that's not true at all! I am a genius! Plus, I can count to forty now!

But no one believes in me. Not. A. Single. Soul.

Which is a pretty epic fail considering that even Scrooge got a spirit to listen to him and that guy turned good after being a greedy old moneybags.

Me? I turned good - evilly good mind you- after being the world's most wanted villain! And still, people think that I don't know anything! I know a heck lot more than you ever will! I have made tremendous sacrifices and given up my dignity, I have rid the world of peasants, I have secured the path for future delinquents! And if that doesn't count for something, I don't know what does.

Apparently, it doesn't count for much, so I am here to prove it to you.

That's right. The Great Trickster has decided to grace you with his presence, not to pull a prank on you, not to make fun of you (a little bit of that), but to help you.

This is where you start bowing and expressing your thanks.

Because, honestly, I can't take it anymore!

I am forced to show you my brilliance beforehand or else all my well deserved dignity will waste away. I am going to give you _advice._

Ask and tell me about anything.

_Help with a devil of a teacher._

_Sibling problems._

_Homework._

_Too much sugar in your lemonade._

_Tiara that won't stay on._

_Car won't work._

_How to be a loser._

_How to be a superhero._

_A crush who likes to beat you up._

The possibilities are endless!

I know you all feel sorrowful and grief-stricken sometimes in your pathetic little lives, but don't worry; I'll always be there to help you through it!

You can count on that.

* * *

Today's topic is something that I know all of you want to know.

**How to be perfect.**

Yes, the oh so desirable status that no one can ever achieve. Boo hoo.

I'll tell you a secret. You can never be perfect. Only one person in the world is perfect and that is _moi_. Life has many truths you must learn to accept and this, unfortunately for you and fortunately for me, is one of them.

What do you _mean_ that's not good enough advice? You dare challenge my brilliance?

Fine, I'll give it another try. It's funny; I was faced with a situation like this before.

I had been searching everywhere for Grimm, not because I cared about her or anything; Henry, Veronica and the Old Lady had been driving me nuts to find her. She hadn't come home from school that day and it was past five.

I guess it was partially my fault. I should have known something was up when she refused to accept my generous offer of carrying her and the Marshmallow home.

Sure, I was forced to do the endless chore, but she could have at least appreciated me!

She got cocky with me, so... I left her behind.

* * *

**Advice # 1: **Never abandon damsels in distress. It's hilarious, but it _will_ backfire.

* * *

I figured she would walk home and let off some steam in the process, only…she didn't. She didn't come home. And I had to waste my time looking for her.

After nearly half an hour of searching the town, I decided to take a rest. Give me a break, I was annoyed, I was tired and I was hungry. The only thing I wasn't was worried for Grimm. No, I am not lying through my teeth, whatever gave you that thought?

And that's when I saw her. She was sitting on a huge rock, by a little stream. Her blond hair cascading over her shoulders as she looked on with a brooding expression. Just like a picture from a movie. (Cue sad theater music)

I hesitated. Should I sneak up behind her? Kick her? Scare her? That would be worth it just to see her expression. But so_ not_ worth it when she would- and there was no doubt - kick me back. Even the second evilest person in the world (right after me) would run away from her wrath when she got angry.

I decided to play the haughty approach, which surprisingly took no effort at all.

"I can't believe you Grimm! Sitting out here all fine and dandy while I turn the town upside down searching for you. Typical. You're such a damsel in distress, always requiring my assistance! You're lucky I have the remarkable tolerance to put up with it."

Her head swirled around and I found myself looking into a pair of angry blue eyes, with just a hint of grief trying, but not quite succeeding to hide itself.

"What are you doing here? Get out of here and don't you dare call me a damsel ever again!" She snarled at me.

* * *

**Advice # 2: **Never call them damsels in distress to their face. Because _your_ face will never look the same again.

* * *

I ducked Sabrina's punch and sauntered towards her, trying to look hurt.

"That's the thank you I get for my efforts? Quit your moping and let's get home before the Marshmallow eats all the food!" I practically screamed at her.

She didn't even look up at me and when she spoke her voice had lost its venom.

"Just leave me alone, Puck…please."

That was a warning, clear as sirens, which told me something was wrong. Grimm saying please? She only did that in the direst situations and I know I said I was mean and evil, but when you see a person as depressed as she was then, that cursed piece of goodness inside you struggles to get out.

I sat down beside her, careful to keep my distance in case she tried to hit me again.

"So…What's wrong?" I asked nonchalantly.

"What do you care? Always with your stupid friends at school! You don't talk to me or even notice half the stuff that happens to me at school! If there's one thing I don't need right now, it's your help." She shot at me.

Ouch. And to think I was actually considering being nice to her! Still, dinner time was getting away and I had to think of something to get her back. And, okay, I was a bit guilty about what she had said. It was just so awkward with her at school! It's difficult pretending to hate Grimm with hundreds of people watching, especially if they're the kinds that love to gossip. So I stayed away from her, but I never thought she minded.

"Look, I didn't mean to…and you don't talk to me either, hypocrite! Just tell me what's wrong and we can go. It can't be that bad." I tried to reason with her.

She glanced at me. "Easy for you to say, you'd never understand. You're always the ideal person to everyone in school, though I can't imagine why."

This was my chance. I should have stood up and taken her by the hand and started singing, "I'm not perfect. But I keep trying! Was it something I said or just my personality?"

But I didn't.

"You can't deny the truth, I am pretty amazing. Though you're not so bad yourself." I grinned at her.

She smiled, but just as quickly turned gloomy again. "Ha-ha, thanks for the flattering compliment."

"You're welcome. But seriously, what's wrong with you?"

"Wrong? Everything's wrong with me. Haven't you ever felt like, I don't know, the world was against you? Like no matter what you did you couldn't do anything right, _be _anything right?" She asked out loud, more to herself than me.

Another golden opportunity. I should have picked a flower out of the ground and carefully inserted it into her hair, all the while singing, "Cause girl you're amazing! Just the way you are!"

And what did I do? I glanced at the cupcake in her backpack that was lying carelessly on the ground.

"Can I have your cupcake?" I asked.

I know, I know! I chickened out! Stop making me feel worse than I already did!

She chucked it at me. "Whatever. Take it. That's the only reason you're here aren't you? So you can go back home as soon as you can and eat?"

I didn't say anything.

"Figures. Everyone's probably worried about me, aren't they?" Grimm sighed. "I always ruin everything, no matter what, I can't be perfect."

And that's what did it. That sigh. That hopeless look on her face. It just made my heart…do nothing! I was not filled with compassion for her! No way! What I said next was purely be accident.

"You _are _perfect, stupid." I blurted out, somewhat fiercely. How could she be so blind? How could she not see it?

"What?" She stared at me.

"Uh, I meant perfect for playing pranks on and making fun of!" I stammered, trying to cover up my mistake.

She smiled, this time for real.

"Whatever you say. C'mon fairy boy. Take me home, I'm not about to miss dinner."

As hard as I try to remember that day; what happened at dinner, what I wore, the shouting and laughter I'm sure that followed. I can't. All I remember is how her eyes had shone with the light I always waned to see on her. How she had grinned and punched me on the way back. How I felt, knowing I had told her the truth.

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**Advice #3: **There is such a thing as being perfect after all. _Everyone is perfect to someone_. Just like how I wasn't perfect for my father but was for my mother. No matter how pathetic you think you and your life is, even when people like me tell you that, it's not really true. You have to decide for yourself who you are.

* * *

Hopefully you have someone like me in your life to help you on your way to perfection. The road is bumpy and hard, but you can make it…maybe. Take it from a living, example.

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**A/N~** Well, there you have it!

Special shout out to **Cat** and **Red**, because I've been completely ignoring them while I wrote this (sorry guys) and they gave me the idea of Puck writing a trash column in the newspaper. (Yay)

So? Did you like it? Did you laugh? Were you bored out of your mind?

Okay, I see you have no thoughts about this since I can see you weren't about to review.

That's fine with me. I'll just take two months to update this story :)

* * *

Haha, did you believe me?

But seriously, I will take extra long to update this if you people don't tell me your thoughts when I know you've been reading it. While I slowly wait in a corner….for a review….that will never come.

Enough with the dramatics…I got to do my homework, which I didn't finish since I was writing this! You guys better make this worth it! *extremely threatening voice*

Okay, I can't sound threatening. I'm too tired. Don't worry; my inner evil will be back soon. :D

The next chapter will have Puck answer any of your questions and will have a main topic (like this perfect one) in which he'll kindly share his experience.

_Puck:_ You can say that again. I can't believe how mushy I've turned!

_Me:_ You were always like that. Accept it.

_Puck:_ You need help.

_Me:_ And what better person to give it than you?

_Puck:_ Here it comes…

**What do you have to ask the Trickster King?**


	2. Awkward

A/N~ I am back!

But not officially. I'm using a homework excuse to post this.

I think some of you were confused by this whole advice idea, so let me define the rules and show how this story will run.

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**RULES AND GUIDELINES**

These chapters will not be just consisting of answers to your questions. That's just an extra thing I decided to do for you guys. It will always have a chapter like story at the end (like that Perfect one) in which Puck shares his experiences. That story will be about a topic either chosen by me…or one inspired by a reviewer.

This is NOT an "ask the character about himself fic". There are plenty of those already and it gets really old when every question is "Do you like Sabrina?" The questions have to be asking for ADVICE.

I will include Puckabrina in this, but in my own way, okay?

The reviews don't HAVE to be questions. You can simply review the chapters instead. In fact, I like those reviews better.

For those of you who have already read Cold Feet, you know that this is not a twelve year old Puck answering. This Puck is an ADULT…around eighteen and above. That means that he is not as silly and immature as before…he knows more, and even if he hasn't quite figured out what Sabrina means to him, that doesn't mean he's completely clueless. He is writing this so he can get ideas for a book he's going to publish, called-you guessed it- _Advice from the Trickster King_. All these experiences he shares will be a flashback. Something that happened before in his life that taught him a lesson.

Now let us proceed…..

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Anon replies

**oah ehm ghee:** Thanks for reviewing! But that question isn't asking for advice…

**Kathie:** Well, well, well. Long time no review, huh? I'm glad your back! No, not everything has to be about FTFT, ya know. Thank you! Oh, Puck doesn't like that question! Thanks for reviewing!

**Ninjabunny: **Thank you so much! I'm happy you thought so. Thanks for reviewing!

**Iana Moone**: Thanks for reviewing! Puck liked the second question best :)

**Fat Head:** Nice name :) Haha, thanks for reviewing! That was a good question.

**PenguinLoverGurl: **Oh, yes, that's very scary: P But I'm more threatening**.** Whoa, that's sad. You can't talk to her at all? I hope Puck can help you. Thanks for reviewing! Issy…or was it Isi?

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...

I knew you all thought I was a genius!

Look at all these questions!

Wait…these are a lot of questions.

Who do you think I am? Doctor Phil? I can't answer all these!

Of course, I, being the kind and generous and person I am, have decided to help you helpless little humans out.

Just be grateful, bow down, get me a bowl of popcorn and enjoy the show!

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**lovelylamb1999:**_Say you're being chased by a... green monkey, wearing Sabrina's clothes and a blonde wig. What do you do?_

**A:** How is this advice? Or…did this ever happen to you?

Me? I would laugh. Then look at Sabrina and say, "I always knew you were a monkey in disguise! Look, there's your reflection!"

Then both the monkey and Sabrina would chase me…and I'd have nightmares about it for the rest of my life. Yep, I highly recommend you use my idea.

**lovelylamb1999: **_How do you get on the good side of a mean teacher?_

**A:** Hahahahahah. Oh, my sides hurt from laughing… You're asking _me_ that?

If you wanted to know how to get on the bad side of the teacher, that would be easier.

But you know, this is actually a pretty easy question. It's simple. Be the opposite of how I was when I was in school. Do your work. Suck up to the teacher. Be like those goody goodies that curse the earth with their unrelenting goodness.

Of course that teacher might take advantage of that and torture you with even more work…so show them whose boss! You! Prove them wrong…in school stuff, everyday stuff, whichever! And then that teacher will respect you! Or fear you…I like the latter.

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**Kathie**: What_ to do when you have a crush that you KNOW doesn't like you back, and you know the crush ain't going away?_

**A:** How should I know? I don't like anybody, and even if I did, it would be impossible for them to not like me!

But on the slight chance (Gazillion to zero) that ever happened to me…well, just _make_ them like you, how hard can it be? But before you try to capture said person's heart…look again. Are they _really_ worth all the trouble? They could be like Mayor Heart and make you massage their feet!

If you've tried to be close to that person, if you've tried to help them out and be there for them, if you've done everything that could ever make them like you (that does not include sucking up, giving chocolates, doing homework, paying them….because let's be honest, that means they'll only like you as a slave. Hah ha, that's like I like Grimm! Except…she never obeys me….) then they're not worth it. Who cares about someone who never acknowledges you? Just forget about them and let time do justice….who knows, you might yet get your "happily ever after". But remember to send me a box of chocolates if you do. _I_ deserve it.

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**oah ehm ghee:** _Define the relationship: your example Sabrina. _

**A: **I don't think you understood the advice part.

I don't like personal questions…and my relationship with Sabrina is like the relationship of a master and slave…I'm the master.

And no, I am not dreaming! My eyes are wide open!

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**Arisha :**_ So, Puck what do you do if you have a really stupid teacher who completely ignores you no matter how hard you try to be good in class, get your work done and get good grades. Gives you a lower mark when you know you deserve better and always pick on you!_

**A:** Why would you try hard in class? That's-that's like ordering your own coffin before you die! Still, you're actually doing work and she's ignoring you? That is one stupid teacher.

Get revenge! Prank her! Glop grenades, gooey egg plants mixed with prunes…doesn't matter as long as she pays!

But the logical approach (Ugh, I can't believe I just said that) would be to tell your parents or talk to the teacher. Tell her what you think and see if she agrees. _Then _you can prank her.

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**Psycho Crazy Curly Girl:** The_ she- beast of a teacher that everybody hates. What to do or how to annoy the fudge out of her._

**A:** You be like me. Enough said.

(Ex. Spread rumors that she is raising an army of cockroaches to take over the school. Or you can convince her that the lottery ticket you bought in her honor won a gazillion dollars and make her day…then say, "Oops, wrong number, guess you didn't win after all!" to ruin it.)

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**Ninjabunny**:_ What do u do when someone dumps u on txt? Plz answer the awesome trickster king puck!_

**A:** What? I admit that I am awesome and all….but aren't you dumping text on me?

So, you're talking about when people write in text speak, right? Usually, I wouldn't care and all, but it gets annoying. I am an amazing person and deserve to be spoken to amazingly. Not as if the person is too lazy to even right properly!

Just leave them to themselves. Tell them to write properly or don't write at all.

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**Fat head:**_ How do I convince my mum to buy me a kitten?_

**A: **First of all, is your name seriously fat head? Thanks! You just gave me another insult to call Grimm!

You want one of those furry little beasts? One tried to eat my chimp! But if you're sure, dress up like a kitten and act like one. _Be_ the kitten… until your mom has no choice but to give in and make you human again.

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**PUCKBRINAISAWESOME:** Can_ you give us prank advice? I want to do some on my siblings! _

**A:** I can see you're taking after me! I remember convincing Mustardseed that aliens had taken over the earth, back when we were kids. He actually believed me, but that was because I woke him up I the middle of the night, disabled all the lights, hired people in costumes to try to break in through the windows, had awesome sound effects…and of course, I locked the door. Oh, and did I happen to mention he was terrified of aliens at the time?

Alone in the dark. Small, helpless child. Ha-ha. He's never forgiven me, but at least it's a special memory that we'll never forget and can cherish in our hearts forever. You can try something similar, but target it after their _worst_ fears.

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**Iana Moone**: _How do you pull a prank without getting caught? (I always get caught.)_

**A:** It's all in the planning, my friend.

Think of all possible outcomes and problems you might face. Maybe that creaky floorboard that always gives you away, or that annoying sibling that always tells on you.

Make sure that nothing can change the objective, that is, the goal.

And your goal is to carry out a prank without getting caught.

Don't change your attitude or act any different, they'll suspect you immediately if you do. Be yourself…but sneakier. Look at Grimm, I hate to admit it, but she's actually good at sneaking out and defying the rules.

And the timing, it's all in the timing.

Do not do the prank in the middle of the afternoon when no one's home or at evening when everyone (especially your parents) are there to interfere.

Pull the prank when they least expect it. And if that means you have to wake up at 3:00 AM…so be it. Who says pulling pranks is easy? It takes genius!

* * *

**Velika Silvertounge**: _How do I get rid of my goody goody reputation without getting in trouble with the teachers?_

**A**: Ah, another one.

You goody goodies annoy me, but at least you want to change. Good for you! Join the delinquents and misfits! You will find me a fitting ruler.

If it's the reputation you're worried about, target the people who you want to think about you a certain way. If they think you're a goody goody, prove them wrong.

If it's their opinion that makes your reputation…show them that you don't care what they think, that you are your own person. Someone like that isn't a goody goody.

**Velika Silvertounge**:_ Is it possible to hate someone like a little brother?_

**A**: Oh, it's possible, all right.

But that depends on what your definition of hate is. If it's," I hate him because he totally embarrasses me and is just so stupid and I can't believe he's my brother would somebody please turn him into a cupcake and eat him!" kind of hate, that's perfectly normal.

**Velika Silvertounge**_: How can I get people to stop saying that me and my nemesis would make a cute couple?_

**A:** You too?

It's annoying isn't it?

Kick them. Really hard. Then put maple syrup over their heads until they promise never to mention it again.

* * *

**PenguinLoverGurl: **_Okay, so my BFF moved three years ago, when we were in second grade. Now we're both in fifth grade. We used to email, but both of our mom's changed our email addresses. We then kept in touch on this one website, but she doesn't post anything anymore. She might have moved, but I'm not sure. What do I do? She's my best friend in Virginia (unless she moved) and I'm her best friend in Kentucky. We are like twins separated at birth! I don't want to lose my best friend! Please help! Think of it as losing Mustardseed or Sabrina or Daphne._

A: That important, huh? But you know, I wouldn't care _that_ much if I lost them. I would celebrate! Maybe…

Why did your moms change your email addresses? Do they not want you two talking? If that's the case, then convince your mom's how important your friendship is. Maybe they'll let you talk again.

If that's not the problem or if it doesn't work…try to contact someone who knows your friend. They might know her email or phone number.

* * *

**NoraeKaye: **_What do you do when you like someone?_

A: How should I know? It's not like _I _like someone…nope….no one.

When you like someone, you act like a love stricken idiot. In other words, act like Uncle Jake, but just be careful…people will be willing to do suicide to escape you.

* * *

**IronFeyFreak:** _Hmmmmmmm... What do you do when your mom makes you cut your hair and sends you to bed at 6:00PM when you refuse? And you wake up the next morning, only to have her threaten to have you shaved bald. This isn't personal at all! Twitch. At all. _

**A:**_ Sure_, it isn't.

Well, well, well, a mother that threatens to shave you bald lest you get a haircut.

Why does that sound so familiar? Yeah, my mom tried that on me. Several times in fact. She wanted her royal son to have perfectly cut, _clean_ hair without any twigs and mud ruining the image. And I just don't do clean.

So every time she tried to take me to a salon or forced me to act distinguished, all her hard work would be for naught. My hair would come back as messy as ever.

Now, have you seen my mother? Perfect hair and clothes, she always looks as dignified as a queen (which makes sense since she is one).

One day, my mother fell into one of the many traps I had designed for my brother, I confronted her. I told her that if she wanted to decide how my hair should look, I'd decide how her hair would look.

Trust me. Scissors, a bowl of mud and twig soup, and me…that's not a pretty combination.

We negotiated, decided that I could keep my hair and she could keep hers. Of course, once she got out of the trap, I was grounded, but that's just a minor detail.

Negotiation is the key though. Come to an agreement both your mom and you can accept.

* * *

**Allisocoolike:** If_ half a dozen half a chickens laid half an egg in half a day, how many dill pickle seeds could the grasshopper with the peg leg kick into the bucket with his eyes closed while the goose is eating cheese?_

**A**: What? What in the name of Oberon's socks is that supposed to mean? This isn't advice. Although I admire you for your creativity, I can't answer this.

* * *

**Alexandra the Leopard: **_Wowzers__, really embarrassing but, boy trouble. A boy I've known since kindergarten, and well um, he doesn't even talk to me anymore now, just quickly broken off eye-contact, small conversations here and there, and a lot of girls hit on him and Hang around him. *sigh* I just don't know what I did! Any ideas Puck?_

**A: **This is a hard one. Are you sure he's the one ignoring you? Maybe it's you too. Maybe it's something entirely different.

Whatever the case it reminds me of a situation I was in before. Back in high school…

* * *

It was summer.

Hot, sweaty, sunny, beautiful summer. And I was stuck in a hot, sweaty, dark, ugly, classroom.

Well, it wasn't really that dark and ugly, but who in their right state of mind could call a school experience beautiful?

"Mr. Goodfellow, this is the seventh time I've found you not paying attention! Good Lord! What will I do with you, child?" My teacher, Mrs. Potts, scolded me.

"I'm not a _child_. And I _am_ paying attention! Outside…" I added underneath my breath.

She gave a little _tut tut_ and shook her head, but I knew she didn't really mind. After all, this was _the_ Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast. She was short, stout and kindly, one of the only teachers who thought I was a "young boy who deserved a chance".

Of course, that didn't stop her from lecturing me.

"You really need to control all that impatience and rashness, dear, one day poor decision making will come back to haunt you." She spoke with such genuine care that I almost believed her.

Almost.

I yawned widely, just as the bell rang. I gathered my stuff and hightailed it out of there so fast, Usain Bolt would have been proud of me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. The Trickster King never made any mistakes.

What he _did_ make was mischief and fun.

"Man, this has got to be the hottest day ever. I'm burning over here!" One of my friends, Omar, grinned at me.

"Let's go some where to cool down…if only there was a water park in Ferry Port Landing." Amir, my other friend groaned.

I was about to respond when some girls sidled up to me.

They were beyond annoying. All I could comprehend coming out of their mouths was high squeaked nonsense: "Oh, Robin can you-_squee_. You're so –squeel- This is so-"

Ugh. And I thought the day couldn't get any worse.

That's when I saw Grimm coming towards me. Her blond hair was tied back in a pony tail and her face seemed happy enough until she spotted me. Then it formed a scowl.

I didn't get it. Why did she always have to act like seeing me was the worst thing that could ever have happened? Like I was gum stuck at the bottom of her shoe that she couldn't get off. In the beginning there had been some playfulness behind her mood, she got angry a lot, but she usually got over it.

Nowadays, it was an attitude issue. But not with everyone else… just me.

She and I never talked to each other in school much and things always seemed, I don't know, uncomfortable and awkward?

Whatever the case, it was like we were two different people from when we had first met. Even the prank playing didn't account to much because she didn't react the same as she used to. She mostly skirted around me and I did the same.

Still, who did she think she was to always look at me like that? With distaste? (Whoa, big word there.)

Well, two could play that game.

I immersed myself in conversation and pretended not to see her when she came up to me.

"Puck?" She glared at me.

I ignored her.

"Puck!" Her fist plowed into my shoulder.

I gritted my teeth, suppressing a whimper that had somehow made its way up to my mouth.

I would not give her any satisfaction.

"What do you want _now_, Grimm?" I barely spared her a glance and made my voice sound as ignorant as possible.

"You are supposed to fly me home. I don't care if you have plans with your oh so popular friends! I feel all hot and gross and –ugh, just get me to the air conditioning already!"

I gave her a look of pity. "You are greatly misguided. You are in no way 'hot', but I admit the gross part was completely on track."

She fixed me with a glare so heated; it would have roasted marshmallows to a crisp. I shuddered to think what it would do to me if I didn't take her home.

"_Fine._" I pretended to make it sound like a great sacrifice, but in truth I didn't mind carrying her home that much.

It was one of the only times no one was around to make annoying comments or change the way we acted around each other.

It was one of the only times, I could ever concentrate on the little details about her without her wondering why I was staring.

I mean, I couldn't have her thinking that I considered her pretty. Because she wasn't! Not one bit!

The ride home was silent. Neither of us talked.

When we arrived at the house, we both breathed sighs of relief, grateful to be in the land of air conditioning again.

The relief, however, was short-lived.

The Old Lady came into view, carrying so many boxes, I couldn't even see her head!

"Puck! Sabrina!" Her voice came muffled from behind the boxes. Acting wisely, she put them down and wiped her brow. "Don't just stand there! I need all the help I can get. It's summer cleaning!"

No, I didn't hear wrong. She really said, _summer _cleaning.

"What? But Granny, we already finished spring cleaning!" Sabrina exclaimed.

"Yeah, and I couldn't work even then. I'm allergic, remember?" I added.

The Old Lady just smiled and said, "Oh, I remember _leibling_. How could I not, with you reminding me every day? But, I think the best remedy is a little honest work!"

"Honest? Yeah, right. As if there was ever a time when _this_ one was honest." Sabrina crossed her arms, like it was a fact.

"_This_ one has a name, you know. And so what if my past was a little crooked? I am new person, with only ninety nine percent of me as deceitful. That's an improvement!" I defended my dignity.

"Well, 'Mr. New Person', I expect you to be able to do a little cleaning and show us how you've reformed. That spring cleaning didn't cover nearly half of the house. This time, we'll be sure to hit all of the corners! Unpack those boxes, dust all the furniture, vacuum the carpets, clean the windows and we just might see about going to that water park for the weekend!"

Oh, hip hip hooray. The only part I heard that didn't make my brain go all fuzzy was the water park. And even that was horrific since we would have to earn it.

"All right, Granny." Sabrina responded before I could put my say in.

She began unpacking the boxes as I stared at her openmouthed.

"How could you agree to do that? Traitor! You better do all the work." I threatened menacingly.

Grimm straightened up and even I couldn't miss the venom in her eyes.

"Traitor? You're calling _me_ that? You're such a hypocrite!"

This time, I must have heard wrong.

"How have I ever betrayed you in any way?" I asked in disbelief.

She looked as if she was about to say something, but stopped.

"Whatever. It's nothing." And she resumed back to work as if nothing had happened.

I put out a hand to stop her.

"Do you smell that?" I sniffed the air.

She looked puzzled and sniffed as well. "No, smell what?"

I looked into her eyes. "A lie. I smell a lie and it's stinky. What aren't you telling me?"

Grimm abandoned her work and collapsed on the couch, fanning herself.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She shrugged off my question.

"I'm talking about you. Always looking at me as if I stole your puppy! Do you know how much it annoys me? You don't even have a puppy!" I exclaimed.

She turned to face me.

"What are you saying? You're the one that always ignores me, like I have some sort of disease."

"Well…you _did _give me the puberty disease."

"Puck! Sabrina! I don't hear working down there!" the Old Lady called from upstairs.

We both grimaced.

"Puck," Sabrina said in a hushed whisper. "Shut up about the puberty disease for once in your life."

"I'll shut up when you stop looking at me like a dead animal."

"But you _are_ an animal."

"Old Lady!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Your unworthy slime ball of a granddaughter isn't working! Would you please take her away from me?"

The only answer I received was the sound of boxes being hauled across the floor.

"That's the first time I've heard you say please." Sabrina commented.

I glared at her, but this time it was more playful.

"It's a word that should constantly be coming out of your mouth when you're around me."

"Oh, be quiet…you know, I'm surprised granny didn't respond. People tend to respond better when you say please." She stated.

I considered that.

Then I tried- in vain-to speak. All that came out was a strangled croak as I fought an internal battle.

"Please?" I finally managed to choke out.

"Please what?" Her expression was astounded. Insulting really, I'm not that rude.

"Please, can you tell me why you treat me so differently all of a sudden, why you act like I'm some stranger..."

Yes, I said it.

Don't you dare look at me with such reproach! I couldn't stand it any longer, okay?

Grimm stared at me for a long time before answering. At least, it was a long time for me.

"Because you ignore me. You act like all those times we've been through-"

"All those times I saved your sorry behind." I corrected.

She glowered at me before continuing.

"You act like all the panic, and war and danger…as if that didn't even change you. As if you're the still the same old, arrogant Puck. As if you still don't care about…" This time, she stopped herself.

But that was okay. I had heard the unspoken word.

As if you still don't care about…_me._

"Are you nuts? Of course I- I mean, uh. The only reason I stopped talking with you is because you stopped talking with me! You started it, so ha!" I pointed at her triumphantly.

"I did not, you overgrown monkey!" And she threw an empty box at me.

"Who you calling monkey, monkey?" I taunted.

At that, she dropped all of her boxes, rolled up her sleeves as if about to start a very messy job, and stalked towards me with a look on her face that scared me.

But not enough to stop me from grinning.

It still didn't make sense why we had both acted the way we did.

But who cared?

Life never made sense.

At least things weren't awkward anymore. I was thankful for that. So much in fact that, that I completely forgot about summer cleaning.

Even the promise of a water park couldn't beat an angry Sabrina Grimm.

Not for me anyway.

* * *

**Advice # 4** : If you ever find yourself in a situation where somebody who you were very close to, somebody you cared a lot about, stops talking to you…don't give up. If they really meant that much to you, talk to them and try to work things out. As them what changed how things used to be. It's awkward…and occasionally painful. But I can tell you this…it's completely worth it.

* * *

**A/N~ READ A/N!**

All right, people! I stayed up till 11:00 to finish this for you. **Now I need to ask you for a favor.**

The only reason I was allowed to post this is for a homework excuse.

We're doing this cause and effect essay thing on a story we read in English. I can get bonus marks only if I post it online and get you people to comment on it.

So please, I know it's boring and all, but I made it **short**. Suffer through it.

**WHOEVER COMMENTS ON IT MIGHT GET A DEDICATION. NOW READ.**

**Opening Act: Cause and Effect Composition**

Amanda, the main character in Opening Act, comes from a musically talented family, consisting of a famous mother and brother. But her own singing skills are disastrous, resulting in low self confidence and the belief that she isn't talented or special. But that is far from the truth.

Later on in the story; after her boyfriend breaks up with her for a different girl, it is discovered that Amanda is poet. The heartbreak from the break up enables her to express her emotions and deal with being brokenhearted through writing poetry in her journal.

Everything changes however, once her mother accidentally reads the journal, thinking it was homework. When Amanda finds out, she becomes furious that her mom invaded her privacy and immediately stops talking to her. She doesn't want to hear what her mother has to say, because she doesn't want to be ridiculed and feels that her mother had no right to do what she did. As quoted, she said, "She sings about broken hearts. I live them." Due to the silence treatment she's giving her parents, she has no one to discuss her feelings with. That's why she eagerly waits for the moment when she can finally reveal everything to her brother.

It is the magical night at her brother's concert that ties up all these loose bonds.

Her mother calls her onstage as she sings a special song, the poem Amanda wrote. At first Amanda is fuming, embarrassed and terrified, all at the same time. She can't believe her mother would do something like this to her.

But as she slowly sees the crowd's enthusiastic response, she starts to smile. She lets the music flood her, and for the first time realizes what her mother was trying to say all along. She is an amazing person the way she is, and her poetry especially is a gift. Her family's talents are not meant to put her in a shadow; but instead let her shine.

* * *

All right. You survived.

Please comment on it, I seriously want those bonus marks. Tell me if I used good conjunctions, transitions, sentence variation etc

**I will randomly choose a dedication next chapter from the people who comment on the essay and the chapter.**

If your wondering about the whole, "It's so hot!" thing, it's because I'm burning over here! I don't care if it's not officially summer! I feel like I'm being boiled in soup and I already have those stupid mosquito bites( I hate bugs).**  
**

I'm tired. I'm cranky. I need sleep.

Review or I really will take two months to update :)

And sorry if there are mistakes. I'll edit this later. It was done in a rush.

Seriously though…if you guys can get me as much reviews as last chapter (29, whoa!), I will sneak on at 3:00 AM and write the next chapter.

_Puck: She's lying. Her sleep is too important to her._

_Me: Shut up. If you were grounded too, you wouldn't be talking._

_Puck: HAHA! Sucks to be you…review guys, she's standing over with me with a hammer…and SHE'S GONNA SMASH MY HEAD….I'm scared._

_Me: You should be. ALL of you. :) _


	3. Zit

**A/N~ **I'm sorry for the huge wait guys! Really, really sorry! So here's an extra long chapter to make up for it (seventeen pages...be happy, folks)

Thank you for all the amazing reviews, I appreciate every single one of them! Even if they're three words long!

Just a reminder, since some people seem to be forgetting: The Puck giving the advice is an **adult**! Above eighteen! All the stories you read are **memories**! Sometimes he'll be sixteen years old (like in the last two chapters) and sometimes he'll be twelve (this chapter)! It changes.

AND HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAY IN CANADA! (Not sure if it's everywhere else)

Personally, I don't celebrate it, but who doesn't love a day off from school?

* * *

Anon Replies

**Nectar:** Thanks! Glad you liked it!

**Guest:** Thanks for reviewing! I'm really glad you think I'm doing a good job...so far...:)

**Big Sister**: Aww, thanks! That means a lot coming from you. Haha, it may not be funny to you...but for some reason it made me laugh. You do that.

**Randomhater**: EXACTLY!

**Zeana**: Whoa, it was a long review. I'm honoured :) Thanks, it makes ME all fluffy and happy inside when you say that. Anaez and Tera? Interesting...Gosh, I'm really sorry for the long wait! I'll try to give warning next time or at least try to update more often! Thank you for the review! Hope you're still reading this!

**Alliegator:** Really? Ah, it makes me so happy to read that! Thank you so much for reviewing!

Puck will answer that question...legally :)

**Day Night:** Well, that sucks :( Puck feels your pain.

**PenguinLoverGurl**: the correction was helpful enough! No need to apologize...Oh ..wow...are you seriously going through this drama when you're ...eleven? That's horrible...so horrible that I can't even believe it. SPEND LIFE HAVING FUN, ISI! NOT WORRYING OVER A BUNCH OF BOYS! Trust me on that.

**oah ehm ghee:** Thanks :) But trust me...the story was super boring. Puck likes that question...very much...

**Alex Dunlap:** First of all, I DIDN'T call One Direction stupid. I called them losers. There's a difference. Although, yes, they are stupid. Secondly, ha-ha, yeah, JB deserves it, doesn't he?

**Music chic 25:** Thanks for the question :)

* * *

Yes, I know the dedication for the essay thingy. You know what's really sad? I'm in a whole different grade and school now. It took me that long to update.

Now...this chapter is dedicated to... **WireWriter!** Otherwise known as **ELECTRICITY** (don't kill me, I couldn't resist)

And, yes, it was chosen, completely by random.

BUT THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HELPED ME ON THAT!

* * *

...

Whoa. You people sure ask some serious questions...no really, I was almost surprised for a moment.

But then I remembered that all these questions were for _me _and you trust me enough to ask me about the deepest concerns you have.

How touching.

**Lara D:** _How do you become friends with a guy?_

**A:** Thank you for not asking me for love advice. I'm so relieved that I actually said thank you! Astonishing, isn't it?

Friends. Guys. Well, I have a lot of guy friends, but I don't think that helps much because-let's be honest here- who _wouldn't_ like me? All I can say is that if all you want with a guy is to be his friend, then you'll have to act like a guy. No, "Oh, I got my nails done!" or whatever girls say. You have to speak their language (that includes a lot of shouting and laughing...and other stuff you don't want to know about). Just act casual with them and be someone they can easily talk to.

* * *

**Cat**: _How do I get SweetShireen to realize that I'm the much cooler Tutti Frutti? Because honestly, she's just embarrassing herself every time she denies it. I'd like for her to wake up from her pathetic little dreams and face reality._

**A:** I'm going to tell you the truth here.

Shireen is the COOLEST Tutti Frutti. And- and...uh...you'll never be better than her! So you need to accept the facts and go back into some hole and cry your heart out...

By the way, I'm tied to a chair with Shireen holding a hammer over my head. Her writing's really hard to read.

* * *

**WireWriter:** _What would you do if your "best friend" is repeatedly dumping you for the new student? She says "sorry" when you confront her but then she goes and repeats it all over again the next day. Yes ,yes, I know this isn't your "expertise" but, can you give me a bit of your...interesting advice? Gracias._

**A:** How did you confront her? Did you just say, "I wish you'd hang out with me more?" or something like that? Because that's not enough. Friends like that need a slap in the face. And ice cold water thrown on them. With grasshoppers. (I'm offering.)

But if you're not the literal type, words work very well as a slap. Trust me on that. Just say it. "I don't like that you keep on ditching me when I'm supposed to be your best friend. If you don't have time for me then we really don't need to be best friends anymore." Or something wise and psychological like that.

Still no changes? Ditch her. There are better people out there.

* * *

**Music chic 25:** _Dear puck, I have this crush on a really cute athletic guy. I want to tell him but I don't know how. Should I wait for him to make the first move or should I make the first move?_

**A:** Ugh. Crush advice. As if I would know anything about that.

Just so you know, 'really cute athletic guys' can be total jerks. Grimm used to like a guy like that in high school (Can't understand it to this day) but he turned out to be a...donkey (I knew all along) and I would have beaten him up if Grimm hadn't got to him first. (By the way, Grimm may call me a jerk, but in reality I'm just an amazing person)

Uh, you make the first move? I don't know. Get to know him and maybe he'll get to know you! (The Marshmallow wrote that, I grabbed the keyboard before she could add, "And then you'll live happily ever after!")

* * *

**Kiss Me Slow:** _Yo Puckeroni. There's this guy at my school. Basically he's mean, arrogant, a jerk...oh and he's gay. Now, I couldn't care less about that, but many people in my school do and I know he's getting bullied a lot. So my question to you, oh great Trickster, is what should I do? On one hand, the guys a jerk who's never been anything but disdainful towards me. On the other hand he may have a terrible personality but wouldn't anyone have one from the verbal abuse I have seen him get? Help me out?_

**A:** Serious question here. You know me; I'm not that good with seriousness. There are people out there who support him and people who don't. I don't know what type of person you are.

All I'm saying is...don't be mean to him. Don't bully him. If you see other people bullying him, tell them to just leave him alone. Nothing good comes out of any type of abuse.

* * *

**Red:** _Okay Puck, I have this friend. Let's call her Ann Smith. Ann and I have been friends since she was born. I mean, I was one, and at her birth. We were best friends until we were 10. (I'm now 14) Then her mother told her to write a list of people who bully her ( why I have no freakin' clue.). I was at the top of that list. Ann showed me that list (again, no freakin' clue why.). Now, she'll blow up if I take a seat that she wanted. (Not literally Puck, stop thinking about how you could use her guts. That's my job.) She seems to think that now that I know that I apparently bully her, she can bully me. Whenever her mother comes around, she acts like we never changed. That we're still those kids that stayed up till midnight talking about boys and that we are still "the best of buds". Well, we're not. Do you think you could tell me how to handle it? I'm about to lose it thinking about it._

**A**: The fake friend dilemma, huh?

A lot of people have tried to be my friend and turned out to be as fake as a plastic Barbie. (Funny thing is, they looked like Barbie too: fake hair, fake smile, etc) I'm taking it that you don't like her? Because if you don't, just go up to her and speak your mind, kick her butt to Pizza Hut...just _something_. Don't let her use you and get her way. But when you tell her, I suggest that there be an audience in the room (so she can't pretend it never happened), and don't beat around the bush. "Listen, Ann. I thought we were friends, but lately you've been acting like an enemy to me. I never did anything to hurt you, but if you want to hurt someone, find someone else. I don't want a friend who lies and doesn't understand that lies can hurt. Seriously, stop pretending. "

Try for some fake tears (they can easily be made by thinking of how you'll never be as great as me) and make your voice quaver (try not to laugh) and then make a dramatic exit.

If you don't feel comfortable talking to her then talk to your parents, friends or family...someone who understands you. (I recommend getting an older brother to break the ice; they tend to be protective to their siblings. I know I feel that way with Basil and the Marshmallow.)

And if you don't like either of those options, give her the cold shoulder. Completely ignore her and make it clear you don't want anything to do with her.

* * *

**Alapest:** _Puck, what do you do if T-Rex (my two year old brother) takes over the world with an evil fashion diva Justin Bieber lover (my four year old sister) at his side?_

**A:** If anybody's going to take over the world, it'll be me.

But if the impossible were to turn possible, I suggest you buy some earplugs. Immediately. Justin Bieber's music is known to be painful.

* * *

**Airene Archerway:** _I have so many friends who love Twilight and think Harry Potter is stupid? How can I convince them that Harry Potter is the greatest series on earth?_

**A:** I've never read the series (Duh, allergies!), but I have watched the movies and I know one thing for certain.

Any book or movie in which a cannibalistic, evil creature _sparkles_ is stupid. Anything in which the main character cannot fight back and constantly needs saving is stupid. Anything in which the good guys always win and no one dies is unrealistic and therefore also stupid.

That's Twilight.

Anything in which people fight back, die in the process but at the least accomplish something is realistic. Anything in which the main focus is _not_ romance-but something that involves killing- is awesome. And most importantly, anything in which the villain has no nose is very disturbing and therefore very cool.

That's Harry Potter.

Which is better? You don't even need to be as smart as me to figure it out!

* * *

**oah ehm ghee**:_ What prank would you suggest for a newbie?_

**A:** A newbie? Just starting out? Ha-ha, I feel your excitement. Think about all those innocent people out there, just waiting for you to ruin their lives...

Maple syrup. It's the best weapon for a newbie. Why? It's sticky, it's slippery, and when you leave it on something long enough...boy, does it smell terrific! Put it on your victims' pillows, in their shoes, on their hairbrush...the possibilities are endless!

* * *

**PenguinLoverGurl:** _Puck! I need help! It's the Godzilla of advice needing: BOY TROUBLE *Le GASP!*_

_Okay, so there are two boys in my class. When I first met them, they both seemed weird. Now I kinda like them. John, boy #1: I call him 'Ginger' due to his redheaded-ness. He's cute-ish, strange, but sweet. Also very awkward. NOTE: He was caught taking secret pictures of my BFF #1 on his phone. He said he kinda 'likes' me, but it's the same with my BFF #1.  
_  
_Luke, boy #2: I call him 'Lucy' or 'Lucille' due to his gullible name. I also call him 'Blondie' due to his blonded-ness. He's in TAG with me & two others. I tease him quite a bit, but not in a bullying way. He's cute, sweet, occasionally humorous, and blushes like a ripe tomato. Kinda-ish 'likes' me._

_Problem 1: BFF #2 is crushing on Luke. And if a try and take him...drama._

_Problem 2: My BFFs don't like either of them (besides BFF #2) and they think they're weird. Don't get me wrong, I love my BFFs like sisters. They have the same reaction to both boys as I did, at first. And they're definitely my friends._

_Problem 3: I'm not sure if this is going to grow, or if it's just a 'I-think-I-like-him-but-later-on-I'll-realize-I-don't' things I keep getting from this darned puberty virus._

_Help? Please? I'll give you my lifetime supply of goo, hair dye, and slime! Granted I'm 18,379, (and 12,367 years older than you) that's quite a lot._

**A:** Let's get something clear. That whole love dilemma of yours made me gag and the only reason I'm going to help you is because of the goo, hair dye and slime. And I highly doubt you've lived 12,367 years more than me...although I'm too lazy to do the math.

Here's the thing: Even if you're nineteen like me, you still won't know if your feelings are going to grow or if they're just a result of that darned puberty virus. My advice? Forget about all this and don't make a big deal out of it. If you like one of them later on, then fine, you like them. But how sad would it be if you spent your time worrying over this (when you could have been putting spiders in people's clothes) and it turned out that you really don't like any of them that much? Very sad indeed.

* * *

**Day Night:** _Well, I have a friend who's a guy. People think I like him because once you turn 11, you seem to love romance. But not me! How can I convince people we aren't together? We hit and punch each other, he almost broke my glasses, and we have conflicting morals and attitudes! The world is crazy!_

**A:** The world _is_ crazy! I feel your pain; for some strange reason everyone thinks me and Grimm like each other...and we don't! I make fun of her and prank her while she constantly tries to beat me up. (Not that she ever succeeds...just hurts me really badly)

I've tried everything to change their minds and so far nothing's changed. Who knows what goes on in their minds? All I can suggest is for you to ignore them. I know it's painful and you must feel like putting red peppers in all their food (Setting their tongues on fire is a great alternative; they're too busy drinking water to say anything!) but these people are incredibly stupid. I mean, they can't even see the truth right in front of them!

* * *

**Alliegator:** _It is boy trouble, Puck take that smear off your face it's not you. There is a guy I like a lot. He is charming, funny, sweet, and amazing. He claims that he likes me, but always forgets and gives me last minute cancelations on things we plan. It started with him wanting to meet me and have a picnic, let's just say that I ended up waiting at a park for two hours until I finally gave up and went home. Then he asked me to homecoming. Two days before the dance he tells me that he can't because he had to go fishing. I find out a week after homecoming from a friend that he knew about this fishing trip before he asked me to go with him. There are a few more times that this behaviour has occurred because he either forgot about the event that we agreed upon or can't go. He has never actually gone through with his promises. We aren't in a relationship, but I find myself wanting to be in one with him. He claims that he likes me, but he wants to wait to date until he gets his driver's licence. Now my question is what should I do? Should I just forget about him? I've liked him for over a year and I'm just not sure if I should let this continue or if I should just give up. Now Puck I know that was a lot of words, but as a grown up you should be able to handle it. Please help me survive my own puberty virus, I wish that I could just skip this confusion._

**_A: _**I actually wasn't smirking...okay, I was, but that's beside the point! This guy that you like and who supposedly likes you is what I call a loser. Why? Because he's going to _lose_ you. (This is where you laugh hysterically at my joke)

Plus, loser just happens to be one of my favorite insults. As I was saying, the dude's an idiot. If he doesn't care enough to remember you, then you should forget about him! If he really does like you, he'll change. If not...you're better off.

* * *

**Zeana:** _my friend is going through a tough time, the guy she likes is with her ex (don't ask) and the girl is *certain phrases taken out* a horrible person, and my friend doesn't want the guy she liked to get hurt. I'm only a bystander and can't do much, so I'm asking for your thoughts, anything will help as long as it's LEGAL, got it Puck._

**A:** I wasn't going to suggest anything illegal...well, not _that_ illegal... Oh, c'mon, what are a few years in jail? You could always escape!

Fine, I'll give you the boring advice.

Does this dude know the kind of person he's dealing with? Because if he does-sorry, man- he's dug his own grave and if this girl is as bad as you say, he'll realize it soon enough.

You could always try using a hammer to wake him up to reality...although that might put him in a coma-never mind!

You could confront that guy for your friend but all you can really do is warn him and say that he's better off with someone else. He might take it better from you than your friend.

Otherwise, there's not much-_legal_- stuff you can do. Chances are that if this person has a brain, he'll leave the girl himself.

* * *

**SabrinaGrimmLover: **_Puck what do you do if people are saying you and your nemesis should date and you sort of like her but don't want to ruin your reputation of hating and tricking her?_

**A:** I seem to be getting questions like this a lot. Any particular reason you're asking me? Because it doesn't relate to me at all!

Fine. Let's _pretend_ I sort of liked Grimm (no need to pretend for the nemesis part) and I wanted to- to..._be_ with her. Now, I have a _formidable_ reputation (second to none) that you've probably all heard of already and there is no way I'll give that up for Grimm.

So-simply said- just don't stop hating and tricking her! Who says you have to give up who you are just so you can be with someone else?

* * *

**Guest:** _What do you do when you have a crush on someone and they always prank you and say their better than you and you do it back?_

**A:** Again with these questions...

Well, that would never happen to me because for one, I don't have a crush on anyone. And two, nobody is better than me at anything-much less pranking.

If you are the unfortunate soul that does fit that description, I have a solution.

Be like me. Granted, my amazing standard can never be fully achieved, but at the very least you won't be crushing on someone or being pranked (you'll be the one doing the pranking)!

* * *

**Guest:** _How do you beat the Trickster King? What do you do if you smell like Puck?_

**A**: First of all, you can never beat the Trickster King, it's just not possible.

Second of all, I am magnificent and like no other. And my smell is magnificent and like no other. If you do smell like me, be thankful. It's a blessing.

* * *

**Trikster Queen:** _Can you give me some pranks, AND a way to get away with it? Because I have a brother and I am usually the suspect for things that go wrong in the house._

**A:** Ah, always the suspect for things going wrong in the house, huh? It's always like that for me...always.

Prank advice? Now that's what I'm talking about! This is actually a bearable question.

Make sure you have something sticky, super glue will work. Most people are uncreative and only put the substance on the bottom of the shoes. That's just stupid, because they can take the shoe off and the prank doesn't work! So put it inside the shoes...and try to smother you laughter when they try to get their socks off...and fail.

I'll give you one of my favorite tactics: pity. Normally, I hate pity, but not pity that's fake.

When they immediately point at you and demand you to stop, look angry. Make your eyes narrow and your mouth quiver. Then, stop and look tired with a hurt look on your face (don't lose all the anger though). Say in a barely suppressed voice, "Why do you always blame me? Sure I may have put larva in your hair and tomato juice in your bag, but that doesn't mean I'm the one responsible for everything. You always accuse me! And you know what? I'm sick of it! So you can just stand there all day for all I care. You deserve it for the way you treat me." Then storm out. They'll feel bad and welcome you back.

In the end, you get to laugh over a successful prank and be given special treatment because of it! It's hilarious!

(Just don't use it too many times or they get suspicious.)

* * *

**What to do if you have a Zit**

People always say that growing up get's easier, that the journey into adulthood can be tough, but everyone has to go through it and we'll survive.

People are stupid.

Growing up stinks, quite literally, and the only thing you get out of it are painful memories. So very painful...

I was having a pleasant dream: dancing chimps were throwing mud at Grimm who was hanging from the ceiling in a very dangerous way. Right below her was a swimming pool full of maple syrup, mucus, little bugs...what were they called again? Ah, yes, larva! They would look great in her hair.

I flew to her and smiled. "Well, Grimm? Have you agreed to the terms?"

"I'll never agree to serve you!" She glowered. "Now, let me _down_!"

I sighed. Always so difficult. "All right, but it was your own decision in the end." I began untying her bonds until the only thing keeping her from dropping were my arms.

I looked her in the eyes. "I don't have to do this, you know. Just say yes."

And do you know what that little twerp did to me? She spat at me! That really left me no choice, now did it? I dropped her.

She screamed at me as she plummeted towards the pool. "I'll get you back Puck! Just you wait!"

Even in a dream, Grimm didn't know when to give up.

I was feeling pretty good about myself, until a shrill noise filled my ears. It was deafeningly loud, going on and on...

My eyes flew open.

Sullivan was jumping up and down beside my trampoline, with an alarm clock in his hands.

"Sullivan!" I shrieked. "Turn that off this instant!"

He grinned at me and scrambled away when I reached for him. I sighed. It looked like things always had to be done the hard way.

I grabbed Kraven the Deceiver to use as a weapon and ran after Sullivan, coming to a screeching halt when he abruptly stopped.

The Old Lady stood in front of him, with a plate of cookies in her hands.

"Old Lady! Sullivan woke me up with the alarm clock! He disturbed my beauty sleep!" I told her, hoping Sullivan would get punished.

She smiled and handed him a cookie. "I know, Puck. I told him to, and you're going to get punished from now on if you don't wake up yourself."

I turned on my chimp with rage. "Traitor! How dare you let yourself be bribed by mere cookies? _I'm_ your master!"

"Well, Master Puck, you best get ready for school or you'll be late." The Old Lady turned towards me, her eyes going to my face.

She gasped and her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, my..."

"What?" My hands going to my face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, dear!" She regained her composure. "Why don't you use the bathroom downstairs and come to the kitchen for some cookies?"

I scratched my head, puzzled. The bathroom downstairs didn't have a shower or mirror. Something must seriously be wrong if the Old lady didn't want me to take a bath. She was_ always_ nagging me about that.

"Okay." I smiled angelically, waiting for her to leave.

As soon as she did, I rushed to the upstairs bathroom, looking for something, I don't know, out of the ordinary? The Old Lady must have had a reason for not wanting me to come here.

But there was nothing. Same old shampoo, same old soap, same old mirror-

I turned and caught sight of myself in the mirror. That's when I screamed.

It was a manly scream of course, but it was loud and continuous, much like my alarm clock.

A few minutes later, the door burst open and the Grimm family came pouring in.

"Who attacked you?" The Marshmallow held out her wand threateningly. "I'll bury them in custard!"

That comment sidetracked me for a few seconds as I pondered the idea, picturing Grimm drowning with custard in her mouth, pleading for my help...

But then I remembered to be miserable.

"My_ face_ was attacked, you dimwits! Can't you see?" I looked at myself in the mirror again. "On second thought, I bet it was a curse."

There, right smack in the middle of my forehead, was a huge-and I mean huge- _thing_. I didn't know what it was, except that it was big, pink and ugly.

Yeah, I know I'm pretty big what with my muscles being what they are, and sadly my wings are pink streaked, but I am not ugly! I'm beautiful!

So what the heck was that thing doing on my face?

"Ah."Henry nodded at me. "Looks like you've really got in to the whole puberty thing."

"Henry!" Veronica smacked his arm. "Oh, Puck, I'm afraid you've gotten a-"

"Zit." Uncle Jake finished for her. "I've dreaded this day."

Canis tried to hide a smile and Red-for some strange reason- giggled.

The Old Lady just shook her head; she'd known all long.

They all tried to persuade me to calm down, saying it wasn't a big deal; it was only temporary, blah blah blah. I screamed at them until they left me alone and only the Marshmallow and Grimm remained.

"It's okay, Puck." The Marshmallow hugged me. "You're still mucho hot-o!"

I pushed her away, even though I knew she was right.

Soon, it was only Grimm left, who hadn't yet uttered a word. I waited for her to say something sympathetic. Something like "_Oh, Puck, you'll always be beautiful to me!"_ or _"I'm here for you, I always will be!"_

"You scream like a girl." She finally spoke.

I glared at her. "I scream like a _man_, you idiot. How else would this _thing_ be sprouting out of my face?" I couldn't face myself to call it a zit.

Grimm rolled her eyes. "It's just a zit, Puck. It's a normal phase of puberty, everyone get's it."

But I wasn't listening. My mind had zoned out after the word_ puberty_.

"Aha!" I pointed my finger at her accusingly. "You did this to me! You and your puberty disease!"

"Don't be ridiculous." She snapped at me. "You're just growing up, stupid."

I ignored her. My mind kept repeating the mental image of Grimm falling in the pool, _"I'll get you back Puck! Just you wait!"_ ringing in my ears.

So this was her revenge? How petty.

"Don't lie to me." My voice shook with anger. "You told me in my dream you'd get revenge!"

She blinked. "You dream about me?"

I pushed her out before she could ask any more ridiculous questions and slammed the door shut.

I looked in the mirror again and groaned. My beautiful face, my poor, poor beautiful face...

Half an hour later, I clung to the kitchen table, refusing to budge.

"Puck, you can't just skip school because of this!" The Old Lady tried to pry my hands off the table.

Oh, yes I could! I was the Trickster King! I could do whatever I wanted!

I sprung out of my chair and used my wings to spiral upwards.

I didn't want to go to school because if I went with that monstrous thing on my face it would be the same as plastering a permanent tattoo on my forehead: GOING THROUGH PUBERTY.

I really didn't want puberty written all over my face; it was embarrassing enough that the rest of the family knew, but the whole school? Never! It would be a step towards acknowledging my changing life, a step towards growing up and _admitting _to the world that I was growing up.

Plus, it was downright ugly.

Don't get me wrong. I love ugly things, but when they're used against _other_ people.

Such is the philosophy of the Trickster King.

Pretty good philosophy if I do say so myself.

"Daphne," Grimm turned towards her sister and winked. "You know what to do."

The Marshmallow squealed and ran out of the room while I stared wonderingly after her.

What in the name of Merlin's pants was that all about?

In less than three seconds the Marshmallow came running back, with a cowboy hat covering her eyes and a lasso in her hands.

She grinned and pushed the hat out of her eyes. "I've always wanted to practice on someone!"

Before I could demand to know what she was talking about, she swung the rope in the air and shrieked, "Hee-yah!"

For a nine year old she was surprisingly good at using a rope, but that didn't mean I was any less shocked when it around my head and down to my stomach.

She tightened it. I gasped, as the air was sucked from my stomach, stuttering, "What the heck are you doing? Let go already you little-"

"Sabrina!" The Marshmallow turned towards her sister, but Grimm was already there. Together, they pulled on the rope and started a tug of war. That was super unfair since they had more people; what a bunch of cheaters! Did they have no integrity whatsoever?

I was thinking of turning into a pterodactyl when they gave a final tug and I hurtled to the ground.

**Advice # 5**: _Don't try to avoid going to school by either a) turning into a pterodactyl and flying away or b) duct taping yourself to your trampoline. It doesn't work._

* * *

"Walk faster!" Grimm gave me a shove. "We'll get detention if we're late!"

"Who cares?" I continued my sluggish pace, looking at the ground as I walked. I was imagining what it would be like to be a snail; really slow, but the slime was an advantage.

Grimm stepped in my way. We were walking on the sidewalk to get to school because I refused to fly Grimm there; if I had to go to school, I might as well take as long as I wanted.

"Man up." She glared at me.

I glared back; offended that she had even used that phrase. "What do you _think_ is on my face?"

"It's a zit!" Her voice raised an octave. "Stop acting like it's the end of the world!"

"Easy for you to say, have you ever had your beautiful face attacked by a monstrous disease? Huh?" By now I was inches from her face and shouting at full force. It felt good taking my frustration out at her.

"Beautiful?" She didn't even flinch.

"I was talking about myself." I replied haughtily.

Maybe I was wrong or just hearing things, but I'm pretty sure she giggled. Yes, Sabina Grimm _giggled_. The world really was ending.

First she covered her mouth, tying to smother the noise and then she was laughing.

"Your face." She managed to say. "Hilarious."

And then I started laughing too, because she was laughing and the way she laughed was really funny.

After a minute, I stopped and tried to regain my breath. "Why are we laughing?" I asked her.

"I have no idea." She wiped her eyes. "All I know is that you started it."

"_You_ started it!"

"You- oh, just shut up. We really are going to be late for school now."

School. Darn.

She must have noticed the expression on my face darken, because she stopped and said in a soft voice. "Puck, it's really not that big of a deal."

I tried to hide a smile; I knew she would eventually comfort me.

"I mean, your face was ugly before and it's ugly now. It's just _uglier_."

Understanding dawned upon me, "You're jealous, aren't you?"

"What?" She looked confused.

But I was on a roll, "You know that you'll never look as beautiful as me with a-a zit, so you want to make me feel bad!" I looked at her pityingly. "What a sad life you live."

"Oh, for goodness' sake!" She grabbed me by the arm. "I'm not jealous of you!"

"So you're hoping that I won't make fun of you when you get a zit? That's it, isn't it?"

She rolled her eyes. "Puck, I know better than to think you won't make fun of me."

"Good thinking." I nodded.

"You know what?" She sounded exasperated. "You can make fun of me all you want when I get a zit, I really don't care as long as you come to school! If we run we can still make it."

I narrowed my eyes. "Deal."

**Advice # 6**: _It's always a smart choice to make fun of people, especially if they're offering. Never let golden opportunities like this go to waste._

* * *

Sometimes, I don't really get the point of school. What am I saying? I _never_ get the point of school!

I mean, really, will knowing how to create a formula and solve an equation ever help me out in life? Am I ever going to have to chart slopes in a graph to prank someone?

Like I said, pointless!

"Hey, Robin." Someone tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned around glaring, my mood only worsening when I saw who it was. Some dude, named Harsh. No seriously, his name was Harsh, which I thought was pretty cool since he must be 'harsh'...get it? No? Whatever.

He was actually a cool guy once you got to know him; only he thought he was cooler than me. Can you believe him? Somebody seriously needed to whack him with a pan, cover him with snail slime, and wake him up to reality.

Which I did. But that's another story.

Anyways, he was staring at my forehead, or more specifically my...okay, I'll say it-zit!

"What are you looking at?" I folded my arms over my chest and gave him a threatening look, preparing to defend my reputation if needed.

"Man, that zit makes you look like a total-" He started to say, but I cut him off.

"Rudolph."

"What?"

"I said Rudolph. Remember when you had that huge, red zit on your nose? You looked like Rudolph."

Harsh frowned; the memory was obviously very painful to him.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"Oh." He scratched his head, as if he'd forgotten what he was going to say. "You have an extra ruler?"

"Why would I keep an extra ruler?"

He shrugged.

"To hit people with, you buffoon!" I rolled my eyes as I did just that. Harsh didn't seem to mind and took the ruler with grace.

And me? I was happy. Because I had finally found a weapon.

**Advice # 7**_**:**__ If somebody tries to insult you because of your... zit, you can insult them right back. Chances are that if they're human and they're alive and growing, they've either had a zit or will have one in the near future._

* * *

Grimm was waiting for me by the entrance when school finished.

She eyed me cautiously, as if expecting an explosion. "Well...how was your day?"

I stared at her with mock astonishment. "Such politeness! Next thing I know you'll be saying good morning and good afternoon like a normal person would!"

"I am a normal person." She glared and with obvious sarcasm said, "Good afternoon, _Puck."_

"You forgot to say good afternoon to Bob."

She stopped walking. "Who's Bob?"

I leaned in closer and whispered, "It's the z-i-t. Don't say it out loud, he doesn't like the word."

"I can't believe it."Grimm stared at me in astonishment. "You know how to spell!"

"Ouch." I replied in mock horror. "You hurt Bob's feelings."

She shook her head at me. "I can't believe you named your zit. Who does that?"

"I am unique, Grimm." I smiled winningly. "And Bob and I had lots of fun today."

"Stop talking about Bob!"

"I knew you were jealous, Grimm."

She stared at me blankly.

"You wish you'd thought of naming your zit first!"

She continued walking, "I would never name my zits."

"Who knows?" I ran to catch up with her. "You might just name yours Bobby."

* * *

I was lying on my trampoline two weeks later, blissfully asleep, when I heard the scream.

To be honest, it wasn't really _that_ loud of a scream. It probably wasn't even a shout.

But I could still hear it, partially because I hidden amplifiers in the washroom and connected it to everyone's rooms.

What could I say? I wanted to be there when Grimm had _her_ first zit, so I could-uh- comfort her and help her...yeah, that.

Right.

I smiled all the way up to the washroom, ready to make someone's life a living hell.

When I opened the door, Grimm was looking in the mirror with a pained look on her face. She must really have thought she looked ugly, even though if I was honest, you almost couldn't notice the zit and she looked as...ugly as ever! Yup. That's what I was thinking. Not pretty or anything insane like that.

"Whoa!" I shouted. "We need to get an aerial view of this thing! It's humongous!"'

She glanced at me with a resigned sigh, simply saying, "Puck."

I smiled.

After all, a deal's a deal!

* * *

**A/N~ **Again, Puck was twelve in this one!

I know there are bound to be some mistakes in here and I'll edit it later, promise! I just couldn't go any longer without updating.

Anyways, hope you all are still with this story! Remember to-

_Puck: They won't do it._

_Me: Do what?_

_Puck: Review. After all that torture you put me trough, do you really think they'd be a s cruel as to review?_

_Me: Aww, is Pucky Wucky embarrassed?_

_Puck: No! Don't call me that!_

_Me: You are! It's okay. I'll bet these readers have been through a zit. And if they review...it means they're here to support you!_

_Puck: Well, when you put it that way...yeah...**review** guys! If you support me *sniff*_

_Me: Oh, man up!_


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